As my previous posting, gw ngga nyaman ada dalam kondisi ditinggalkan atau meninggalkan yang mana adalah kondisi akibat dari perpisahan.
And what makes it hard is that I don't feel much comfort in my time alone.
I'm scared of loosing. I have high demand on being attached. I worship partnership.
And so I learn to enjoy my alone time. Handle the nerve. Invite the calm in to the soul. Try to believe in my self. And the strength is even stronger when these last two days, faizi didn't cried seeing me leave home for work in the morning. Instead of crying, he smiled and kiss-bye ing, keep repeating it until I can't see him in the road edge. As if he told me, You're OK being alone, Bu, You still exist in my heart even we're in distance.
So, farewell is not that hard as long as you believe that you are gonna be just fine. And when you're being "ikhlas" having the hole in your heart due to the farewell, means you let God make beautiful plan to cover the hole.
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