Hi, Buddy

Hi, Perth...
Thanks for very sweet comment on "My Groovy Kind Of Love"
Nice to have you still remember me, Perth...
Wish Life has been great to you, and I am sure it is, for you are a kind person.

Thanks My Blog

Day 1 -- still hurt, questioning what to do, should I stop, can I stop, can I just go on, go on in what way.

Kalimat itu yang awalnya akan kutulis, demi menggambarkan perasaanku yang mulai datang sejak kemarin sore.
Namun blog ini telah menyelamatkanku dari perasaan itu. Karena blog ini telah mengingatkanku terhadap apa yang sebenarnya terjadi. Tidak menghilangkan apa yang sedang kurasakan tapi menyadarkanku betapa perasaan itu adalah konsekuensi dari "part-part" kehidupan yang aku "pilih" dari berbagai variasi menu kisah hidup yang tersedia di depanku. Balancing Me Up. Keep my soul healthy.
My renaissance, My Aufklarung, My Restorasi Meiji, Pencerahanku. As it titled, SANITY-ER

Here comes the fight again

Let us just see when will this end, and the most important is, how brave i take the step to really end this?
Not to take the chance of start something, no no... I am not starting something again if I'm not full ready.
But to save my life, no money, no nothing, but Live.

Izzy House

In two years, It should be like this.

Groovy Kind of Love

When I'm feeling Blue all I have to do is take a look at you, there I'm not so blue
Wouldn't you agree, baby you and me, got the Groovy kind of Love.

I need you my Groovy Kind of Love.

Miss Old Times

It start all over again. The feeling of missing old times. I am not sure what is it that makes me miss the old times so much and makes me crying, sometime. Can not sleep well, sometime. Sm*k** some, rarely. Think too much on s**k*, seldom.
Probably, only probably, because I miss my heart feeling something, freely and abundance. Free to miss grandma and free to go to Kuningan whenever I want. Miss mom so much and free to go to Ciamis to just stare her grave. Free to play with niece at Anyer and spend some times on the beach. Free to do anything I can do for Dad. Free to stay over night on Nita or Putri house. Feel the big love for my man. Fill my leisure time with music, movies, friends, social stuffs, small shopping.
Yes, I think I miss the word L O V E which I had so much during old times. And which I start to loose during this ma**i*g** life. Whose to blame, buddy?

Fastabiqul Khoirot

Keren gak tuh judulnya....artinya "Berlomba-lomba dalam Kebaikan"....
Hari ini one of my favorite junior manager yang ngasih tau arti kata tersebut. He's some kind a religious person. Being a member of one islam political party. Expecting to have many kids in order to make Islam bigger. Soft beard. Are his image. The youngest among junior managers.
There were times where I think this person is sometime notice too much on me so when I made mistake he can tell, and that surely were not fun at all.
But there are also times when we're supporting each other. As what happen on our conversation this morning. It is a nice talk.
Nice to have you motivated by me. Nice to have me sometime motivated by you. Nice when you say good things to me (whether serious or just joking). Nice to have such friend like you. You have to keep up the good work, too. And You have to keep inspiring other people to do good things, too. OK ?

Percakapan keluarga

Anak Ketiga: Teh (panggilannya pada Anak kedua), gimana, kapan bapak mau dijemput ke rumah teteh?
Anak Kedua: Bentar ya Dek, teteh telpon A'a (panggilan kepada Anak pertama) dulu.
Kriiing....telfon diangkat, Halo..
Anak Kedua: A, minggu ini bisa kan jemput bapak bawa ke rumah aku?
Anak pertama: bla bla bla....(intinya, ngga bisa)
Anak Kedua pada suami: Ayah, boleh ngga jemput bapak ke bogor?
Suami Anak Kedua pada Anak kedua: Kan ada si A'a bla..bla..bla..(intinya, ngga boleh)
Anak Kedua pada bapak: Pak, gini aja, A'a ngga bisa jemput lagi minggu ini, bapak selesaiin urusan jual beli rumah aja mumpung masih di bogor...
Bapak: gimana ya Teh, jual beli sih urusan gampang, masalahnya kemarin suamimu telp katanya sebaiknya bapak tinggal di rumahmu yang di asrama, bukan rumahmu yang di komplek, bapak kan jadi mikir lagi mau pindah apa ngga bla...bla...bla...(intinya, ngga mau)
ANak kedua pada anak ketiga: Gimana ya dek?
Anak ketiga: ya udah, dedek minta uang nya aja deeh ke teteh..
Anak Kedua: ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????


Here I am, caught up in the middle...

Energizer...

Today, my office room felt more energized. Must be due to the wind that blowing through my face this morning, 10.28. New taste of energizer. The sun shine brighter, the air smell better, the life has been more live. Aku berharap hembusannya akan terus menyambangi ruanganku..It was beautiful. It certainly is..Thank you so much.

The Shape

Something happen on the third date. The hint received.
Then it start to form a shape - unclear but strong, untitled but seen, unspoken but words depicted, far but felt, ironic but cozy, not moving but connected tight.
What is better than that kind of shape?

Nikmatnya Bersabar

Entah karena bulan puasa, atau pembicaraan dengan seorang teman dekat, kata-kata "nikmatnya bersabar" sedang benar-benar melanda.
Pemahamannya sudah jauh-jauh hari aku tahu, dari kultum, ceramah, pelajaran agama, you name it.
Mulai untuk merasakannya adalah sejak menikah. Tidak dengan tulus hati tentunya, tapi terpaksa, daripada begini begitu sama pasangan, lebih baik "bersabar". Repetition then happen along the years.
And Eventually, I now choose it, myself. "Bersabar" pilihanku saat ini (kaya jargon parpol yak). Dan ternyata rasanya memang..maknyusss...

Stay away a little

Now that a reminder has been delivered, I should step further for a moment, just a moment..to only see what is really going on here...

Big Homework

One big homework of mine is to help parents life.
I never imagine that their life would be in such condition in their older life. Knowing my dad used to work for Pertamina, people will never thought that nowadays, life has been very hard for him.
Recalling my childhood, not too beautiful, if it's too much to say that it's a bad time. Dad has been always busy with hobbies during the week with his pals. I'm busy to get people attention by joining all available school extra activities. You name it. Osis, Pramuka, LKBB, Cerdas Cermat PPKN during junior high. Kempo during senior, plus busy with first boyfriend (not the kind that I wanted to have). Big brother has his own hobbies too that we only see each other during the night or morning befor school. Not too much to remember at home. But I do remember that our house used to be the finest house around neighborhood (always clean for we have best maid). Dad was also first to own two cars. Mom will always dressed up, completed with gold shiny jewelries. She was owned one shop on a market, one shop at home.
I really don't want to recall many things, I promise myself that I will only recall the good stories of my past.
I have no problem, now. God has been good to me. It's them who then stucked in this such situation. But I'm sure God didn't make them live that way. And I'm sure it's my responsibility to give them a hand. For a family is a family, nomatter what. God give me strength to do this.