Kehilangan asisten rumah nih

Lagi-lagi...saya kehilangan asisten rumah yang lebih dikenal orang dengan sebutan "pembantu". I never like using the word of pembantu. Meskipun dari makna denotatif, tidak ada penekanan yang sifatnya merendahkan kata itu. Tapi secara konotatif, sepertinya pembantu adalah pekerjaan rendahan. Bagaimana tidak, seorang pembantu punya job description yang tidak jelas dengan waktu kerja tidak jelas pula namun gajinya jelas jelas rendah. Sebegitu ngga jelas job des nya, sampai sampai orang yang mempekerjakan seorang pembantu, what so called majikan (i hate this word too), bisa menambahkan job des sebagai "alat latihan kekerasan" pada si pembantu. Sering denger kan pembantu yang dihajar majikannya? Ngga jarang pula diantara mereka yang mempertaruhkan nyawa.
Meskipun di awal tulisan ini saya terdengar seperti seorang aktivis HAM, saya tidak memungkiri kalau saya juga punya "pembantu", mulai dari sini kita ganti kata pembantu dengan "asisten rumah" aja ya. Asisten pertama saya ada pada saat kandungan saya umur tujuh bulan. Pertama ini dihitung mulai saya menikah. Rencananya, kami, saya dan suami bermaksud untuk mengajarkan dia banyak hal terutama yang terkait dengan pola pengasuhan bayi. Kami mau dia sudah menjadi bagian dari keluarga kita sebelum bayi kami datang. Sebut saja namanya Juliet...ciee...lebih keren dari nama gw kan.
She seem a very sweet person in the early time she worked for us. Kerjanya tanggap. Pagi-pagi jam 5 udah bangun, padahal ngga pernah kita minta. Nyuci, nyapu, ngepel rumah, nyapu halaman, cuci piring, masak...great banget deh. Masakannya enak pula. I just cant stop adore her along with my husband. Masa masa kandungan tua gw yang cukup "bermasalah", keluar masuk rumah sakit, bulak balik purwakarta bogor, dia dengan setia menemani. Saat suami gw dinas dan gw di rumah sakit pun, dia yang menginap menemani gw. KEgemilangannya juga berlanjut, ya ampun jadi kaya cerita sejarah hidup selebriti aja, ketika gw melahirkan dan tidak sedikitpun ada keraguan yang tampak saat mengurus bayiku. Mendampingi saya saat saya begitu ketakutannya meninggalkan dia untuk bekerja sementara dia tidak mau susu formula (saat itu saya belum dapat pencerahan sehingga masih percaya bahwa susu formula is just as great as asi, fool me!!). Sampai akhirnya kami berdua, juliet dan saya loh, bukan saya dan suami, berhasil membuat anak saya mau minum formula (I never end my sorry for this) dan saya pergi kerja dengan tenang.
Time flews and faizi has become a bigger, proactive baby and expressive one. Then something start to shows the other side of Juliet. Neighbours said that she has big mouth which can be danger for me since I live in a sorroundings where ethic is number one. Kebiasaannya yang mau menguasai tivi bahkan saat suami dan saya ada di rumah (we only have one), terlalu mengatur operasional rumah, etc, etc. I start to complaining about her to hubby. But man just the most unsensitive creatures in the world and he didnt give a damn concern about this stuffs. Until the day in february month of 2007 when my parents in law visiting us and stay for a whole week. HUbby was like stoned hearing news flash from his parents about juliet. Stories how juliet force faizi to eat in harrash way, bathing him in the same way, and how calm faizi was staying close to his grandparents. I just cant stop my tears falling down my cheek. This was not juliet false, it's mine, i told my self. Maafkan ibu, nak..
Tanpa pikir panjang lagi, saya lalu cari informasi sana sini. Saya pikir lebih baik berganti ganti asisten daripada stick to one tapi membahayakan mental anak saya. Tidak lama, seorang rekan di kantor kasih informasi. Setelah proses yang sedikit panjang, kami pun akhirnya berhasil memperkerjakan karsih, this is her real name. Dan Juliet pun mengundurkan diri tanpa harus pusing-pusing saya cari cari alasan memecat dia. God has been giving love to me...
Dengan bekal pengalaman pahit bersama juliet, saya pun menjadi lebih tegas dari awal. Saya katakan apa yang saya tidak suka dan apa yang saya harapkan dari seorang asisten rumah kepada karsih. She seems to understand even she's never work as assistance before. Hari ke hari saya ajarkan dia detail-detail pekerjaan rumah, tidak hanya garis besarnya saja seperti yang saya lakukan pada juliet. Saya perhatikan cara kerja dia dan saya ingatkan kalau dia salah. Never did this to juliet, I just gave the full trust to her. Saya minta dia bangun jam lima. Mulai dengan merendam baju, menyapu dan membereskan seisi rumah, memasak nasi, mencuci baju faizi dengan tangan sambil memutar mesin cuci untuk baju kami, dan mencuci piring. Jam 7 dia sudah bereskan semua dan saya pun sudah selesai masak untuk faizi. Karsih ambil faizi yang selama karsih dan saya sibuk ikutan sibuk duduk duduk di dapur, kasih makan, dan langsung bobo pagi. Jam delapan kurang saya berangkat, karsih mengepel lantai dan menjemur pakaian. Sore saya pulang, faizi saya ajak main sebentar, saya mandi, shalat, makan lalu main lagi dengan dia. Karsih sudah bisa beristirahat sambil nonton tivi dan tidur jam 8. Itu kira kira gambaran umum pekerjaan karsih.
Kalau dihitung-hitung dia bekerja sejak jam 5 sampai jam 6 sore. 12 jam. Bayarannya agak sedikit di atas rata-rata bayaran seorang asisten rumah di daerah saya. Siang hari, hampir setiap hari, faizi tidur siang, cukup lama, bisa dua sampai tiga jam, dan bisa dua kali. Karsih ikut beristirahat. Sabtu pagi dia akan pulang ke rumahnya dan kembali ke rumah saya di senin subuh. Sehingga hari kerjanya adalah 5 hari kerja. Like normal worker. Saya ingin membuat dia nyaman sebagaimana saya juga ingin nyaman dengan pekerjannya. Dan memang itu yang saya dapatkan. Karsih begitu manyayangi anak saya. Semua orang bilang begitu. karsih memang seorang gadis polos berumur 24 tahun beranak dua yang penyayang. kami pun menjadi sangat menyayanginya. Sayangnya....kami harus kehilangan dia sekarang.
Dimana lagi saya harus cari asisten sebaik karsih dan tidak seperti juliet...I will not let myself make the same mistake by choosing the wrong person for assistance.

What faizi can do

Seorang kawan punya anak yang seumur faizi bertanya, "anak lo udah bisa ngapain aja, bu?". Hmmm...satu pertanyaan yang seringkali diajukan kepada ibu-ibu dengan anak umuran 1 tahun. This was not the first time i got the question, and surely not the last. People who asked the question, disadari atau tidak, expected to be answered by common answer that a one year old baby usually can do, walking. Jadi biasanya sy akan langsung menjawab, "belum bisa jalan, sih" gw yang selalu tendensius dengan pertanyaan seperti itu gitu loh, "masih titah", I'm adding. Kalo suamiku ada disamping, dia biasanya kasih senyuman sambil melirik as if he said, "ih si ibu, jadi orang streng ama sih". Faizi memang belum bisa jalan di umurnya yang sudah satu tahun ini. This is no issue to me, not even a bit. Meskipun sering sy ngobrol ma faizi, "de izzy, ibu doain biar bisa cepet jalan ya" atau, "eh, izzy pinter amat sih, mau cepet jalan ya, " saat dia sedang mencoba melepaskan pegangannya dari tembok atau kursi. But, deep down, i have no hard feeling about this. Faizi is just the most beautiful gift God has gave me in my life. Change the bad of me, inspire for better me, He's just the best thing in my life. And the fact that in his one year old he cannot walking already won't change my feeling about him. Bukan berarti saya juga tidak antisipasi. Having an almost 6 years little cousins incapable of walking has bring me to look for related informations. DSA nya faizi bilang, biasanya dan kebanyakan anak bisa berjalan sendiri di umur 14 bulan. Artikel lain bilang, toleransi kemampuan anak untuk bisa berjalan adalah 24 bulan, other friend have his baby walking in his 16 months age. And what is great that an article showed that it's been researched: the longest baby learn to crawl, the higher focus he will be in adult age, tentunya dengan batasan-batasan tertentu juga dari sebuah riset dan sebuah definisi yang terlalu panjang kalo saya kutip. Faizi memang sudah mulai merangkak dari umurnya 9 bulan.

Saat itu, saya sempat berasumsi dan berharap bahwa dia akan bisa berjalan di 11 bulan. Begitu juga dengan kemampuannya duduk seimbang, sudah dia lakukan di umur 6 bulan.
Kalau saya analisa, anak saya ini rupanya ingin mahir di satu bidang dulu baru bergerak ke tahapan selanjutnya. Waktu saya ngomong begini," faizi kayanya mau jadi "profesor merangkak" baru ambil "jurusan jalan",' hubby ketawa ngakak dan menit kemudian dia bilang, " sabar ya bu, kita ngga bisa samain faizi dengan anak-anak lainnya, faizi ya faizi, anak kita,"...my beloving husband...he's just being a very tolerant person to his son, (not to me ;>)...I actually not taking this problem into account. it's not fair. I will be also objected when people justified me from only one aspects. I am fully realize that too many other things faizi can do than he can't do.
Smiling. This is the best faizi can do for me. Senyuman pertamanya saat dia baru bangun, sambil tengkurap dengan wajahnya berhadapan denganku, bersender pada bantal. Ketawanya ketika dia kegelian, saat main ciluk baa, saat lihat selebriti bayi di tivi, saat ibunya berpura mengejar ngejar motor2annya, etc, etc...the greatest heal ever...

Makan. Makannya hebat, apa aja mau. Sayur sop, lengkap dengan buncis dan wortel serta ayam. Sayur bayam, nugget, tahu, corned beef, telur rebus, makaroni, abon, bubur ayam. dll. Semua yang saya masakin untuk dia pasti dimakannya. Bahkan saat dia sakit, dokter menyetujui permohonan saya, actually disertai pemaksaan dikit sih, untuk melepaskan infusannya karena saya kasih jaminan anak saya lebih tenang dan mau makan daripada diinfus jadinya rewel dan malah ngga mau makan sama sekali. Faizi sudah berhenti makan bubur bayi di umurnya 9 bulan. Saya awalnya kasih dia blenderan meal gitu, ngga lama dia bosan. Akhirnya dia makan apa yang saya makan di umur 10 bulan, tentunya yang baby able to eat (nasi yang agak lembek dari biasanya).
Motorik halus. Dia bisa masukkin benda benda kecil ke dalam wadah, dikeluarin, kasih ke saya, saya kasih lagi ke dia, lalu dia masukkin lagi ke wadahnya. Tangan-tangan kecilnya begitu lincah bermain-main. Saat dia lihat kucing atau ayam, kebetulan dua hewan itu yang suka berkeliaran di sorrounding rumah, dia menunjuk ke arah hewan itu, lalu dia akan jentikkan jarinya seolah memanggil.
Nyanyi. Faizi suka ikut humming kalo saya nyanyi, apalagi lagu "topi saya bundar" dengan memegang kepalanya saat saya mulai teks "topi..saya..bundar". Lalu dia bertepuk tangan menandakan lagunya sudah selesai, (padahal sih baru satu kalimat). Saat saya nyanyi selamat ulang tahun, dia pun akan bertepuk tangan, as if he knows the song. Dan most of the nights, faizi hanya bisa tidur kalau saya nyanyi " nina bobo" dengan arransemen saya sendiri.

Makan Minum sendiri. Pada tahap beginner tentunya. Dia akan ambil nasi di piringnya, dia tiup-tiup lalu dia masukkin ke mulutnya. Sudah juga bisa pegang gelas bayinya dan dia minum. Sekarang malahan sedang belajar pegang botolnya sendiri. (saya belum sempat untuk mulai memberikan susu pake gelas). Yang paling gress adalah, makan biskuit sambil nonton tivi. Ayahnya bilang, sampai habis tiga kepingan.
Mengenali benda. Dia sudah tau sisir untuk di kepala, pulpen untuk corat coret, telepon ditempelkan ke kuping, mobil2an di jalan-jalaninnya di lantai, puk bedak di puk-pukin di lehernya, keypads handphone, keypads remote tivi dan ac, dia bisa tekan dan nyalakan, tombol lampu, matikan dan nyalakan juga.
Say no. Ini yang suka bikin gemes. saat diminta cium ayah atau ibunya, dia ngga mau. Menggeram, terus memalingkan wajahnya. Berontak saat diambil di rumah tetangga yang punya anak kecil tiga dan meja karambol yang suka dia dudukin.

Dijauhkan dari benda-benda bahaya yang cenderung dia suka. Air, benda tajam, pecah belah, malahan pernah suatu kali, dia pegang lidi, dimasukkin ke bolongan tempat minyak nya kompor minyak tanah. ya ampuunn...gara-gara suka saya ajakin masak di dapur nih kayanya...
Dan masih banyak lagi....tunggu sambungannya..

Average Life

I just have this chit chat with one of my bestfriends which then correlate to what happen just now to me. I told her, my chat friends, that I like average man. She's like having the storm in the day, asking "What? since when? why?"...Good, I can at least get her curiosity because she's the kind of girl that just never had the positive angle talking about love, spouse, marriage life, etc. I probably have no time to tell the world that I do like average man. Even my past life might not describing that, bu I do like them. Well, I have to admitt that this liking is getting higher in my marriage life, not to mention having an average husband. But dont get it wrong. When I said average, It doesnt mean bad. Wait until I define it. Average man is responsible, loyal, not womanizer, people tend to like, and the most important is, family man. I might not have the hangky pangky time with him, visiting night club, picnic every weekend, seeing friends all the time.. No, I did not do that now. But This is just fine with me. Peaceful life. What should I expect more?
People are busy shouting their friends "Get a life!"...What do they mean by that, usually they mean by "get an interesting life". Interesting, then, define as fluctuatif life. Hell no. It's not an interesting life for me. I am not a western lifestyle addicted. What is wrong with relaxing life, playing with izi in the grass of our front yard instead of bringing him to mall or playland of kids, watching tv with husband for the whole weekend and talking. This is life. An interesting life, you can say.
This average life with average man I have, then completed by my activity as anggota Persit. Why? Because then I will not be able to get higher position in my office now due to the impossibility for me to come home late, come office earlier; that will make me as average employee. I have to spend time also for my Persit activity but I can not be the superduper activist in this TN* wife organization, this will make me average anggota Persit. Haa...still want to say that being average is boring? think again. It's better for me to maintain my role in life in many aspects (even in average level) rather than I have to be in the highest position in one aspect.

Faizi Birthmarks

As my usual morning office activity, checking email comes first. Finishing check office email, start to check with my personal one. Good thing!! it's working, After reset my email preferences, I start to receiving email from my favourite mailinglist, sehat group. This, absolutely, will be my first email to check, follow by jobstreet in second position. Yes, i'm still looking for better jobs, like all of you, i'm sure...
And this mailing list is just great satisfying ever. I actually had no specific information to look for. But like they can read my mind, I find an article that I actually willing to read but the willingness is kept in the bottom of my list of lookforinformation. Oh God, love you smart parents...so much...It's about birth marks. My izi has it on his face.

Can you imagine? in his face...and it's not small one, the nutbrown color almost covering his left cheek and eyelid. Hubby and I had come to specialist referred by izi DSA, given an ointment that did not loose the marks. Specialists said that this has to be lasered, better in his third age to make it easier with izi cannotstandstill behave. Then, we never talked about it again, not until izi enough age to be lasered in the face...fuiiihh...why face...Talking about it just screwing our beautiful short moments with our lovely son. After all, izi is still a handsome son, cheerful, active, health, and all the people , neighbours, families, friends, just love him...so what the hell with the birthmark
That's why this is suprising to me. Cause from that moment until this morning, i never realize that birthmarks is not just birth_mark. That actually indicate something further, some of it correlate with neural things and whatsoever. Sorry, I haven't read all details, just copy it and print for hubby. From all the categories of the birthmark in the article, I can not assure which is my son is in. But, one thing for sure, I will start to really have a look, deep look over my son mark and try to think seriously on this.
What I want to write is that, just can't understand why the doctor did not tell me what is my son really has in the face, what is the dangerous, and all the details of it. Is he reluctant to share it with me cause he better spend times to withdraw another cash from other patients, since one words and one hour talking is cost the same? I might have the lucky things for my hubby can go to RSPAD with no cent at all for the laser and all the service but how about others? I am not the kind of social people, know..well..not anylonger, but this is just out of limitation of humanity, even for unsocial person like I do. Wish I had spend my anger in this writing and come home calmly to see my son smile, kiss him and hug my hubby...we have something to do after reading this article..thanks again sehatgroup.

Bye bye Susu Formula, welcome UHT

Awalnya, dorongan itu muncul karena ingin berhemat. Then after short list made of expenses in excell, I start to look over it and pick which item I can reduce the cost. Well, sebenernya ini bukan kali pertama saya lakukan hal ini. You know, new marriage who have so many things wish to have. I can say It's been my monthly activitiy. Tapi ada satu hal yang saya tidak pernah berani untuk reduce adalah cost untuk anak saya, faizi. No. Never. What kind of working mother I am? Memangnya saya cari uang untuk siapa? Belum lagi tatapan suami, yes..he doesn't need words, just a single glance will do..
Tapi, on this early month, May 2007, right after faizi first birthday, 4th of May, I had the brave to peeping on reducing faizi cost. His formula milk has been the biggest money spend. Then, mulailah saya searching di internet. Sampai kemudian saya menemukan banyak referensi, terutama dari tulisan Lita Mariana di Bananatalk blog tentang susu formula. OK, I'm positive. Pulang kantor, saya beli susu UHT merk U**r*, sebenernya sih mau cari yang dus ekcil, 250 ml, tapi cuma ada yang 1000ml, ngga apa apa deh, faizi ngga mau pun, saya bisa minum, pikir saya. and TO My SUrPrise...Faizi drink it. He doesnt have a rejection to his bottle nipple out of his mouth. Ya Allah...alhamdulillah...Satu perjuangan lagi, menunggu suami pulang, saya mencoba rileks untuk bisa menjawab pertanyaan2nya. ENtah ada apa sore itu, suamiku ngga mentap aneh, hanya bertanya, kok susunya ganti, bu?. Iya, kubilang. RIngkes kan yah, ngga usah nakar, ngaduk, dll. Trus faizinya juga suka. UNtungya, si faizi nih kompak, sambil tetep ngga mau lepasin botol dengan susu barunya, dia smile ke ayahnya. That's it. No but, no arguing, no nothing. Well, he didnt say agreement sih, but he act like he agreed. Besoknya, sore saya sampai rumah, berjejer susu UHT yang 1000 gr 3 dus. Ayah sudah ada di rumah, and He said, "Yang kemarin habis, itu ayah belikan lagi..."

First Posting

After being a lazy new mommy, I have decided to be more dilligent, a bit. Writing...writing about important things in life, son and husband. They worth it, to enjoy reading my writings about them. So, here I am. Its been two years in this coming 31 July of my marriage, as Ny. Faozan and one year on last 4th may of my roles of ibunya faizi. Think this is the only way for me to preserve my sanity, I had far away bestfriends and family, busy husband (but loving one), with so many beautiful story to tell to, about my life, faizi's life, everything. So it's not actually just, They worth it, I also worth this...Enjoy..As I will make the most of this for my joy